


Take it like a Man!

by twitchtipthegnawer



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Dominant!Barbara Maitland, Femdom, First Time, Multi, Submissive!Adam Maitland, Switch!Beetlejuice, Virginity Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:54:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23010556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twitchtipthegnawer/pseuds/twitchtipthegnawer
Summary: Beetlegeuse knows that the manliest thing a man can do is teach his bro about the wonders of the prostate in a totally no-homo way. What do you mean Adam got past the bisexual crisis months ago and is perfectly comfortable with some very homo behaviors?Otherwise known as the one where Adam's very vanilla sex life while alive left him completely unprepared for getting creative post-mortem. It's a good thing Beetlegeuse (and even Barbara!) know how to use google, and are eager to make him feel good.
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice/Barbara Maitland
Comments: 7
Kudos: 128





	Take it like a Man!

“So, not that I don’t _love_ what we’ve got goin’ here, wouldn’t trade it for a lifetime supply of coke _and_ cocaine, honest, but when am I gonna be allowed to fuck that sexy ass of yours?”

Adam outright squeaked, and Beetlegeuse reached down to squeeze his butt, just in case his message wasn’t clear enough already. Barbara rolled her eyes at the two of them, and said, “Whenever Adam’s ready, obviously.”

“Ah, actually,” Adam swallowed hard, then ducked his head so he wasn’t looking directly at either of them. “I was sort of wondering… what, exactly, that would entail?”

Neither spoke, so Adam risked a glance up. Beetlegeuse had an expression like they’d just told him he did, in fact, have a birthday, and it was _today._ Barbara was turning bright enough red that Adam almost wanted to check if she’d gotten her pulse back.

“Erm,” Adam said. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, nope, definitely not!” Beetlegeuse raked a hand through his green hair, the smile on his face on the more benign side of unhinged. “Fuckin christ, I knew you hadn’t had a dick up there before, but I thought you knew more than _nothing,_ babe.”

Clearing her throat, Barbara sidled closer to him, until she could get a supportive arm around his waist. His shoulders, which he hadn’t even realized were tense, abruptly slumped. “I know you know what your, erm, prostate is,” she reasoned. “I had to schedule your exam for you because you were so busy restoring a nineteen-twenties rocking chair, remember?”

_“Whitebread,”_ Beetlegeuse said. Well, he half-hid it in a cough, but it was clear he wanted them to hear him. After so long of living together, however, they knew enough to ignore it.

“I know my p-prostate exists. But what does it - ”

“How about a demonstration?” Beetlegeuse squeezed his way between them, only to throw an arm around either of their shoulders. “Much as I’d like to hear you vanilla fucks stutter your way through anal sex, I think I’d rather _see_ it, if you know what I mean.”

Barbara got a _look_ on her face. It wasn’t a look Adam had seen much, when they’d been alive, but it was getting more and more common now that they were dead. “Alright,” she agreed. “But you need to go at _our_ pace. No overwhelming Adam, or, or moving too fast, things like that!”

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Beetlegeuse agreed easily enough.

But of course, as soon as they had Adam naked on the bed, on his back and with his head in Barbara’s lap, Beetlegeuse stuck his fingers in his mouth. Adam was too busy flushing at the sight of his tongue sloppily drooling all over them, and so he barely reacted when Beetlegeuse took his wet fingers and went right between Adam’s legs.

He didn’t even get a chance to touch skin before Barbara was tutting at him. “Go _slow,_ I said!”

“Come on sweetcheeks, sexy here can handle _one_ finger.”

“That isn’t one finger,” Barbara said shrewdly. “Also, get the lube out.”

“You’re killing me. Killing me _again!_ Do you have any idea how hard that is to do?” Beetlegeuse sulked all the way to the edge of the bed, where he searched the bedside table drawer by… throwing everything in it that _wasn’t_ lube onto the ground. Great. “Anyway, he liked seeing me give my own fingers a suckjob.”

“S-suck!” Adam held onto Barbara’s thigh with one hand and the blankets with his other. It was that, or cover his face, and he refused to be _that_ transparent.

Finally, Beetlegeuse unearthed the half-empty tube, and crawled back so that he could loom over Adam once more. Barbara stroked Adam’s hair softly, soothing him as Beetlegeuse (obedient, for once) slicked up _just one_ finger.

At the first press of that cold, slick digit between his legs, Adam jumped. “You couldn’t have warmed it up for him?” Asked Barbara.

“It’ll warm up,” Beetlegeuse said with a lecherous smile.

His fingertip just sort of… _rested_ there, for a moment, intimate and embarrassing in equal measures. Beetlegeuse started rubbing it in little circles, as if encouraging Adam to relax. He tried to, but even Barbara’s nails trailing over his scalp couldn’t do the trick. He kept expecting Beetlegeuse to just _push_ \- and so, when instead Barbara reached down to pinch one of his nipples, he arched his spine at the unexpected sensation.

_“Fuck,_ babe,” Beetlegeuse said. He had a wondering tone, and Adam only realized that finger had slipped inside him when it wriggled.

Adam knew his face must’ve done something odd, because Barbara was leaning closer to him, saying, “How’s it feel?”

“Feels like…” Adam frowned, and then blushed when Beetlegeuse moved his finger back out, very slowly, until only the tip stayed inside.

“Like you’re taking a shit, right?” Beetlegeuse cackled.

“Er, uh, well.”

“Don’t worry,” he continued. “It won’t feel like that for long.”

Barbara massaged his chest a bit, rubbing her fingers over his nipples in a way that was new, but not _too_ new. It wasn’t as though she’d _avoided_ his chest before, after all. And she really was dexterous, enough so that Adam smiled up at her in a silent thank you. She wasn’t looking at his face, though; her eyes were focused between his legs, and her lips had parted a bit. Her tongue was clenched between her teeth, pretty and red and tempting.

Beetlegeuse moved his finger in and out slowly, and each time he did he changed the angle, just slightly. Adam wondered if he was searching for his prostate. Would he even notice, when he found it? What would it feel like? There was a sort of _weirdness_ to the whole thing, not arousing necessarily, but not bad either.

Eventually, Adam was able to relax enough that Beetlegeuse could add a second finger. He even dripped extra lube on it, for good measure. The bed under Adam’s ass was damp with lube and sweat, but to be perfectly honest, he wasn’t complaining.

Crooking his fingers, Beetlegeuse said, “Aha!” Adam jumped, a jolt of sensation going through him. It was acute, almost to the point of hurting, but it was _definitely_ unmistakeable.

Before Adam could say anything, Beetlegeuse was drilling back into that spot, his fingers relentlessly stroking over it. Adam was _writhing,_ completely against his will, until something just snapped and he _kicked._ The fingers disappeared from his ass, and he heard a faint, winded “Oof!” From the other end of the bed.

“Oh my goodness,” said Barbara, who was finally looking at Adam’s face again. “Are you alright?”

“T-t-too much,” Adam panted.

From a foot further than he’d just been, Beetlegeuse exclaimed, “You almost broke my nose!”

All it took was one look at Beetlegeuse’s face, and then Adam burst out laughing. Barbara quickly followed his lead, gesturing to her own forehead when Beetlegeuse gave them confused looks. “What, what? Something on my face?” He turned to the mirror they had hanging on the wall, and took in the remarkably clear footprint that stood out, bright pink, on his white forehead.

In about a second, Beetlegeuse’s hair went from a limey green to a deep purple. He was _sulking,_ but it didn’t stop him from getting right back up in Adam’s space. Even more so than before, actually. He ended up forcing Barbara to lean backwards, and Adam swallowed hard as Beetlegeuse’s face got closer and closer to his.

“Sure, you’re laughing _now,”_ the demon growled. “But I’m gonna have you _crying_ on my dick in like, ten fucking minutes.”

He kissed Adam _hard._ Even if Adam had wanted to argue, had known what words to say to soothe Beetlegeuse’s pride, he _couldn’t._ Beetlegeuse had kissed him before, of course, but not like _this._ Unrelenting, overwhelming in a way that was much, much nicer than the fingering had been earlier. A hand wrapped around his cock when he was still focused on just trying to keep his jaw loose, and Adam bit down on Beetlegeuse’s tongue accidentally.

Growling and an unrelenting grip jerking him to full hardness and a tongue fucking into his mouth and the taste of blood and - 

“Beetlegeuse,” said Barbara. And, when the demon twitched but didn’t get off him, she repeated, “Beetlegeuse!”

“Fucking _what?”_ He snapped at her, his teeth quite a bit sharper than they had been earlier. Adam’s lips felt distinctly, pleasantly sore.

“Make it twenty minutes,” said Barbara, without blinking.

Mercurial as always, Beetlegeuse was only too happy to agree. He snapped backwards, probably to give his wrist a better angle to jerk Adam off. Barbara took his place easily enough, bending herself in half to get a taste of Adam’s lips. He was trying not to rock his hips, but the whole thing was, well. It was very nice.

It’d be easy enough to come like this. He didn’t want to, though. This wasn’t what he’d planned for the night, not what he’d asked for, asked about.

Before he was forced to protest, though, right as his balls were drawing up and his belly felt like a coil of tension, Beetlegeuse let go. He thrust one finger into Adam again, though this time there was a bit of a dry drag, now that the lube had time to dry. Wincing, Adam turned his head to the side and broke the kiss.

Then Beetlegeuse crooked his finger, nailing right into the same spot he had earlier. Except, this time it felt _different._ Still intense, but more like a sexy gut punch than a regular one. Adam had all the wind knocked out of him, and it took him a long moment to realize it was because he’d cried out. Barbara was giving him a shocked look, but it was slowly morphing into something truly delighted.

“Do that again,” Barbara said. She wasn’t talking to Adam.

“Yeah, I was planning on it,” Beetlegeuse snarked.

Much as he’d like to tell them he can still hear them talking, Adam wasn’t sure his tongue was coordinated enough for speech at the moment. His cock hadn’t flagged at all, and the fact that Beetlegeuse was adding _even more lube_ wasn’t helping.

Part of Adam wondered if it was really necessary for things to be _so_ dripping wet, down there. Part of Adam was too busy relishing the easy slide of two fingers thrusting to worry about anything else. Part of Adam, which grew larger each passing second, was wondering when, exactly, he’d get to have Beetlegeuse’s dick inside him.

Twenty minutes, Barbara had said. And she was usually rather sensible, a good middle ground between Adam’s cautiousness and Beetlegeuse’s recklessness. But Adam wanted. He _wanted,_ and not _to wait._

“M-more,” he begged. “P-puh, please!”

“You sure you’re ready, babe? Not gonna kick me again?”

Gasping for breath, Adam tried again, “Please, Beetlegeuse!”

“Damn.” Another finger, finally; it felt so _big_ already, Adam couldn’t imagine what a dick was going to feel like. “You sound good when you beg, sexy.”

The more time he spent with fingers in his ass, the less Adam was reminded of going to the bathroom, and the more he felt like he was, well. Having sex. Getting _fucked._ It felt like he was going to come embarrassingly quickly, if this went on much longer, so he opened his mouth to say _something._ Beg more, maybe, since Beetlegeuse and Barbara both liked when he did that.

Instead, the noise that reached his ears was Beetlegeuse saying, “Hey, watch this!”

His fingers spread wide, thrust in deep, and started _vibrating._ At least, Adam thought that was what the feeling was, so intense it was almost _numbing._ “God,” Adam choked out.

And he was coming. He _thought_ he was coming. It felt different, like it radiated out from his belly rather than his cock, even though he could feel come drooling out and dripping down his side. He knew he was twisting, muscles so tense they were trembling. Barbara held him down by the shoulders, and Beetlegeuse groaned at the feeling of Adam’s muscles milking his fingers.

_“Fuck me,”_ Adam said, when he thought he was mostly under control again.

Despite his voice cracking three times on two syllables, they seemed to get the memo. Barbara abruptly put her hand on his throat, forcing his attention to snap to her even while Beetlegeuse’s nails were digging into his hips. “Are you sure?” She asked, demanding absolute honesty with her clear, blue eyes. “You don’t need a break?”

When he swallowed he had to fight the resistance of her hand on his neck, and it only made the pleasure still boiling in his belly that much more acute. “I’m sure.”

“Finally!” Beetlegeuse spread Adam’s thighs wide enough to make them ache. “I thought my dick was gonna _fall off_ before you let me get it wet!”

“Don’t worry,” said Barbara. “If that happened, I’m sure Adam would be happy to fuck _your_ ass as an apology.”

Gaping, Beetlegeuse looked between the married couple for some kind of answer. All Adam could do was shrug wryly. Beetlegeuse eventually said, “I don’t know which is more surprising, the fact that you said fuck or that you actively _want_ me to cuck you.”

“You know us Maitlands,” Barbara answered easily. “Full of surprises.”

After that none of the three of them were saying anything for a while, because Adam had a cock in his ass and Barbara decided it was high time she get out from _under_ him and sit on _top_ of his face instead. Adam knew how to use his tongue well enough to keep Barbara incoherent, and Beetlegeuse couldn’t say much more than, “Holy shit, holy shit, holy _shit,”_ when he was treated to a sight as good as the one in front of him.

All in all, Adam considered his first attempt at anal a resounding success. He wasn’t going to forget about his prostate any time soon, that was for certain.

**Author's Note:**

> Raphae11e got me into the musical and you know what? It's better than the Heathers musical. There, I said it.
> 
> If you're only familiar with the movie just... chalk the characterization differences up to virginity and femdom kinks. If you're familiar with the musical and think they're still way too out of character for your suspension of disbelief, please do the same. My fragile pride in my smut couldn't handle it.


End file.
